Soooooooooo, picking up from "the shop", I'm headed back home to pick up some items and people. I get there and our, at the time, very small apartment is overflowing with people and I'm not very happy once I get there because we are so far behind schedule that I could spit! Anyway, I walk in and I am greeted by everyone and my flower girls, who are also natural babies, hair is so puffy that I just can't stand it. I look at my mama and say two words. Fix. It. Apparently, she had semi pressed their hair, which would have been fine, if it had remained pressed. At this point I'm struggling with my attitude. I'm trying to round people up and I still have a BM doing her hair. Tsk tsk tsk. Finally, we get out and on the road. My mama has a phobia of the bridge and all the "big trucks", so she's driving like somebody's very ancient grandma. I am now driving so of course, I am driving all kinds of miles over the speed limit, but I slow down once I see my mama waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind me. Di-sas-ter! I couldn't believe any of this was happening.
Okay so, eventually we make it to the church. Our church is down a dirt road and negroes are absolutely acting as if they have 1: never seen a dirt road and 2: their cars are very expensive. I'm met by the photographers, whom are now trying to get in as many photos as they can before the ceremony. I'm getting dressed and I realize that I have left my garter and actual wedding shoes at home. Great. Snap. Snap. Snap go the cameras as I try to force a smile because by now I. Am. Furious. Thinking to myself, why did I agree to this again? what purpose does it serve? Out of everything that has happened, I still insist on starting on time and we do. People seem to be amazed that everything was happening without them. How dare we start on time and not wait for them...I swear the audacity of people some times baffles me. With Vows exchanged, hands shook, and people recognized it's time for the piece de resistance(I couldn't do the little accented e, but you know what I mean), the Reception.
Ugh, what can I say about the reception...It was wall to wall, ninjas, up in there. They beat us there, because they skipped the ceremony. Yes, these were real deal ninjas, death stars and everything. Since, we were so behind schedule I had to rush all of my reception "moments" because at this point the photographers were being real BICKS. Pardon my language. People I did not know or had ever seen before were at the Reception. They were very much un-welcomed and uninvited people. Pissed. Me. Off. In real ninja fashion when it was time to eat, the people who were NOT invited, hop their happy asses in line first. Just piling it on their plates. Mountains of meatballs, chip, and dip passing by the room where I was sitting. I believe I saw to go plates, but that's another story. So as the food dwindled so did the people, which made happy. It probably made me happier than it should have. Also, in real ninja fashion, there were less gifts brought than people present. To me that was a problem. You couldn't even bring a damn card? No best wishes? If I can help it, I try not to go to anything empty handed. It doesn't have to be the most expensive thing, but you should put forth some effort. It's the principle. Lord have mercy! I'm about to wrap this up because just thinking about it makes me want to throw hands all over again.
To be continued...
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