Objects in the Mirror

Don't. Look. Back!

I try to remind myself if this overtime I see someone I use to know.  Someone I once called "friend".  Every time I get the "you were on my mind..." text or the "I've been meaning to..." message on FB.  It's really tiring trying to move forward and carry what was behind me at the same time.  I realize, now, that people like to keep atlas one toe in the doorway of your life so they can tiptoe in and out, unnoticed, when it's convenient.

I am learning that the farther I walk, the smaller things look in my rearview. People become distant. Grow apart. Grow up. Grow out. Whatever you want to say. We say things are just different, but what? When did it become different? We like to say that it is nothing, but it's everything because we always have that nagging wonder of "What happened?" in the back of our minds. You always wonder. I wonder.

In a nutshell, Ive come to the conclusion that it's one person in the act of walking, moving, and the other is standing still. Perspective. Change is always closer than it appears and we just have to be ready for it. Maybe I just missed the signs. Wasn't paying attention to the exits all along friendship highway. I thought we were going one way, but it turns out that they had already chosen their exit, but they wait until you stop at a gas station for snacks because they can't go on their way without the nourishment you provide. They have to have something to remember you by right? Unfortunately, you don't have a say in what they take. You just happen to look up one day and it's gone/

A little bit of your love, kindness, compassion, understanding, and patience is gone. Possibly forever. One can never truly know if it'll return. The day always comes that you see them on that same highway. Thumb out. Wanting a ride. Again. What do you do? Speed by and look at them through the rearview? Peel all the way out? Fishtail a little so you can hit them with a little gravel? I don't have the answer to that right now, but I'm riding on cruise control until I find it.